11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
