ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
