I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
birth control should be required to get into college
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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