it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
