nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
