i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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