Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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