hell yes lets make some ravioli
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
