rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
