I have demons in me.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
