Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
