dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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