You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
