Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
