The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i out mim tonsoeep
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
