for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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