is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
there was a trapeze. enough said
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
