If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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