I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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