i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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