The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
