I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
