Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
