i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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