I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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