Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
