Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The Olympian is in my bed
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
