Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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