Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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