If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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