Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
