i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
im holly from the hills drunk
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
