i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
