lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
