Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
