WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
