Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Found the puke drawer
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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