9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
