Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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