your room smells of hookers.
And success
Don't make out with my wife yet
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
