I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
