she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize