The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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