I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
