brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
