what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
