you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
