what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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