Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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