no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
How external is "for external use only"?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
