Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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