Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
