Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
