Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
