U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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