Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
