he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
