Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
