hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
