Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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