Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
