I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think your dad took our porno
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
