My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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