Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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