I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
